PretenSpeak & the Myth of the Smart Guy

by Reggie Huff

One of the most protectively shrouded secrets of the electronics industry is the fact that the majority of people working in this field (non-technical professionals) converse daily in a language that they don't begin to understand. Culturally, this industry has come to venerate a skill I'll call "PretenSpeak."

PretenSpeak is the ability to assemble correct-sounding sentences using high-tech acronyms, buzz words, and jargon without the speaker having any idea what is actually being said. The acceptance of PretenSpeak is pervasive, rooted in some widely believed myths and stifling to the natural learning capacity of industry professionals.

In all fairness to the reader, I am obligated to confess that I Am An Electrical Engineer.

Further, I have come to accept the fact that I will always be an electrical engineer. Whether that is good or bad is not the issue. What is important is that I AM IN RECOVERY.

Part of being in recovery is accepting the distinct possibility that I shall be forever haunted by sporadic urges to baffle associates, friends, and loved ones with impetuous, obfuscating explanations furtively designed to leave them with nothing more than the impression that "I am a Smart Guy."

Myth of the Smart Guy
The first myth upon which this ridiculous acceptance of PretenSpeak is based is the Myth of the Smart Guy. This is a myth that pervades American culture, beginning in pre-school, and is continuously reinforced throughout the academic "edukational" process. The Myth of the Smart Guy is so ubiquitous that even Smart Guys are fooled into believing it. The myth propagates the belief that the human population can be divided into two distinct categories: 1. Smart Guys, and 2. the Other Guys.

Smart Guys are the kind of people you want to have around you, to work with, to play with, to sleep with because . . .
• They can figure stuff out
• They make few mistakes
• They are more reliable, trustworthy, and dependable
• And so, they are more desirable, valuable, and in demand

The Other Guys, obviously, are not so smart. The Other Guys are less desirable, less valuable, and less in demand and give themselves away by:
• Not knowing things
• Appearing unable to figure stuff out
• Making more mistakes

Rocket Scientists and Brain Surgeons
Everyone, including even not-so-smart guys, clearly realizes that anyone who is a bonafide Rocket Scientist or Brain Surgeon (hereafter RS/BS) is in the Smart Guy category. Any RS/BS has studied lots of RS/BS stuff and passed countless tests on RS/BS stuff. Surely, only a Smart Guy could study for so long and pass all of those hard tests.

Any RS/BS is certainly at the top of the Smart Guy heap and therefore we can conclude that they:
• Are excellent parents and outstanding at math
• Always keep their checkbooks balanced
• Are wonderful husbands or wives
• Demonstrate excellent communication skills
• Are great cooks and remarkable gardeners
• Show exceptional fashion taste
• Are renowned lovers and homemakers
• Can quickly diagnose any automotive problem

BUT WAIT! We can't conclude any of this can we?

Actually, such presumptions are ridiculous! Without examining their competence in any of these other areas, the only thing we can conclude about a given RS/BS is that he or she is probably smart in the field of RS/BS. Further, I suggest, that this ability comes from spending lots and lots of time practicing RS/BS stuff.

My point is that our notion of what a Smart Guy is falls apart upon examination. I claim that for people who develop competence, that competence is limited to a very few domains. It follows then that they would remain incompetent in the vast majority of other domains. This notion does serious damage to our generally held beliefs regarding Smart Guys.

The Myth of the EE Degree
For many, many years now I have heard folks respond to what would otherwise appear to be perfectly sound questions with "Well, I'm not a double-E you know." They say this even when it's clear to everyone involved that they are not an engineer. I believe that what they are actually saying is something like "This is beginning to sound technical, and, since I'm not an engineer, I am unable to understand this, so I'm bowing out of this conversation."

Let's consider what it is to be an engineer. While I grant that there are many excellent engineers who have never attended a university, the most commonly accepted qualification is a B.S. degree. Even if they work in an unrelated field, these people are apt to say, "I am an engineer; I'm just not working as one right now."

I'm such a person. My degree reads Bachelor of Science in Electrical and Computer Engineering and it's from the University of California at Santa Barbara. I worked long and hard in the university cirrocumuli to earn that degree, yet I am here to tell you that even after 19 years in the semiconductor industry, I haven't seen 95% of what I studied in that engineering program.

Of the 5% I have used in my professional career, roughly 3% is mathematical. The mathematical part is essential if one does circuit design and analysis. Most non-technical professionals in the industry are doing neither, and therefore they need only need the other 2% of what was learned in school to have the equivalent background of an engineer.

The Purple-Robed Professions
In American culture, there exist three professions whose members might aptly be called the "Purple-Robed" ones. In our youth we're introduced to the exalted three and often urged either to become one or to marry one. A distinguishing peculiarity of Purple-Robed professionals is that they never explain anything to an outsider in language which the outsider might possibly understand. This tradition is sustained with the pertinacity of a magician maintaining the mystery of an illusion. The Purple-Robed professionals are of course doctors, lawyers, and engineers.

Manufacturers achieve their profit margins by maintaining a disparity between the costs of producing/distributing a product and the price they can get for it. The Purple-Robed ones maintain their profit margins by maintaining a disparity between what they do and an understanding by everyone else of what is being done. Their margin is in the mystery.

I contend that none of this electronics stuff is too hard for non-technical professionals to learn. If you are willing to be a beginner-that is to say if you are willing to expose the fact that you don't know something-then you have cleared the biggest hurdle.

Given how much time you spend in industry conversations, you invest more than enough time to learn all of the technical distinctions necessary to be an expert in your field. The secret is simply to end the "I'm not a double-E, you know" or "This is getting technical" conversations and surrender to learning every day, in every conversation.

I'll close by saying that the purpose of this column, TechTutor, is to take the PretenSpeak out of our daily conversation. If you send me questions regarding technical matters which are of importance to you, I promise to do my best to explain the distinctions and principals in English. It's as simple as that. Please feel free to email any questions you have and we will select as many as possible to address in this forum. Over time, we'll all become Smart Guys and, hopefully, live happily ever after.

"PretenSpeak & the Myth of the Smart Guy" first appeared on EBNONLINE.COM on August 27, 1999.

© Copyright 1999, 2000, 2001 Huff Communications. All Rights Reserved.